I will do anything for love, but I won’t share that!

I’ll share many things with my partner. We share life, the usual stuff, sharing a bed, sharing raising a child, sharing chores (unevenly), sharing the occasional breakdown when you just can’t take anymore of being an adult, sharing the burden of people constantly questioning our relationship status – ‘are you getting married?’, we share the eye rolls, the moans, the good, the bad and the ugly. I’m talking the real ugly, the shiting on the bed having a baby ugly. To be fair, I don’t remember doing it, so did it really happen? Continue reading “I will do anything for love, but I won’t share that!”

Im 30 and I like it

Well, like is a bit of a strong word. But what really are your options for turning the dreaded 3.0? Like my dad says ‘you can like it or lump it’. I’m going to tolerate it. I swore to myself that I wasn’t going to be one of those club 30 people, those people that fester on their age, believing the end is nigh, dooms day is fast approaching after the turn 29, the last year of their twenties. I promised myself 30 would just be a number, nothing important, just another orbit around the sun I have endured enjoyed. Continue reading “Im 30 and I like it”

30 Things… you will want to teach your toddler immediately.

Continuing with the long run up to my big 3-0 celebrations (previous 30 things), I have complied a list of 30 things you will want to teach your toddler immediately.

I may not have won any patenting awards just yet, but listen, toddlers are grade A tormentors and if you want your life to be as easy as possible, then there a few pivotal things you must teach them… Continue reading “30 Things… you will want to teach your toddler immediately.”

My fall from grace…or the curb

Did I ever tell you about that time I fell an absolute belter (Scottish for spectacular)?

I never fall, I have lived my whole life in fear of falling, not because I could injure myself, no, I’m hard as nails me. I live in fear of falling as someone might see me, how mortifying?! I was the kid that hung on for dear life to fences and railings in the winter when Mr Jack Frost had coated the entire place, there was no way I was about to deck it (Scottish for fall) in front of a bunch of people, ruthless teenage kids no less. Watching other dare devil kids walking on the ice and ultimately falling, struggling to regain their posture on the slippy, slidey ice was not a sport I wanted to ever take part in. Sure I laughed along with the other kids, calling the poor ice victim a dafty, mocking them for the rest of the school year, but inside I was secretly thankful the ice monsters got them and not me! I fake laughed to distract the other kids while I increased my iron grip of anything close by, including long grass. My walk to school on the ice was slow, nae, a slow shuffle, think of a geriatric old man, shuffling his way to the bathroom at the speed of an ill snail. That was me. I would not be taken down! Continue reading “My fall from grace…or the curb”

30 Things…..that should be made EXPLICITLY clear when having a child

Continuing with the 4 month long run up to my big 3-0 celebrations (previous 30 things), I have complied a list of 30 things that should be known to expectant parents. Maybe there should be some kind of disclosure agreement or something new expectant parents should sign before the big day, in fact these points should be make known to couples even thinking about conceiving a child! It’s all fun and games till the baby pops out, then the real hardshi(t)p begins! Continue reading “30 Things…..that should be made EXPLICITLY clear when having a child”