Feminism – as I understand it, means equality for the sexes. However, I often hesitate to describe myself as a feminist. I will use the word ‘feminist’, after all, I want equality for everyone. But I tend to swing closer to describing myself as an ‘equalist‘.
Most days, there’s some form of feminist movement being published. And for very good reason. I won’t start a huge gender shit show on this post, I’ll simply say I absolutely fucking hate gender stereotypes and believe they play a central role in creating inequality of the sexes. They breed behaviours, adopted by both sexes, that give rise to oppression, abuse, harassment, pay gaps and stereotyping, to name a few. I whole heartily support the rising feminist agenda, from the seriousness of lack of rape convictions, to the unequal mental load of family life that, predominantly, mothers bare.
I support feminism.
But some supporters, they are, well, they are taking their feminist badge and running with it, sprouting hasthtags, spreading man hate, screaming down anything with a penis that dares to speak from their privileged seat.
I support Feminism, I don’t support crazy bitches
Recently, I saw a post online about ‘a war on men’, the underline of which was that men now feel unsafe in this increasingly feminist society. Worried how their actions will be perceived. Worried that they cannot approach females. Worried they will be hauled up for sexual harassment at any given time. But, Jesus H Christ, lord help a man that voices or supports these opinions . Satan help him if he voices that opinion on twitter.
I’ve had discussions with men about these fears, quite a few times. There are legitimate concerns. Innocent, well-meaning people are feeling that their actions may be misconstrued and land them in, unreasonable, unfair, hot water. On the same foot, I completely understand the need to highlight and fight the feminist cause. There are far too many inequalities, far too many women being harassed, far too much internalized misogyny. Men and women really do live on different planets on the same Earth. Argue all you like, but men still have the upper and ‘better’ hand at this point in time. Not sure how many men have keys in their pocket, for ease of access, while they walk home, alone, at night.
Women do have a shit ride. Truly. and they should voice their concerns, highlight their views. But, this doesn’t negate the views, concerns and opinions of men – something the angry feminist could do with remembering.
I get it. I’m as angry and passionate as the next vagina wielding feminist lassie. I see where the anger and attitude gets it source of power. The years of inequality and behaviours we have shrugged off for too long. Despite our ever increasingly loud voices, women are still atop the victims of domestic abuse ladder. Laws need to be changed, women need more protection, we need to raise our children to NOT touch people on the arse and to NOT accept that this is all part of ‘being female’. There are ‘bad’ men out there that use and abuse their powers and status and there’s a shit tonne of socially acceptable behaviors that are downright wrong.
It needs to change. But, how we change this is important.
Shocker, men have valid opinions too!
Feminism is a great subject for debate, we all have our views, we are all passionate about our views. But when it comes to feminism, people get a tad blinded by their passion. For example, it would be social media suicide for my partner to write a tweet saying something along the lines of ‘I wish my partner never breast fed my daughter’. Actually, I would love him to tweet that, purely to see the abuse he would get. I’m thinking the key words/terms to sprout up in response would be ‘sexist’, ‘not your choice‘, ‘misogynistic‘ ‘breast is best‘ (don’t get me going on that bullshit), ‘unsupportive‘, ‘you don’t own her‘. Any man that dares to post (have) an opinion on any female matter is shot down, because he is privileged, he doesn’t have vagina, he doesn’t have a say.
I’ve seen many men post on social media, lets say on the topic of female body image, and I’ve seen the amount of vitriol and abuse, at the hands of females, they receive. Females using the feminist agenda to support any bullshit they shout. Using ‘woe is female’ to type out comments, that quite frankly, if the man wrote, he would be called a sexist and disguising pig. Yet, women get on their high, feminist protected, horse and man bash. Regardless of the views and feelings of the man – because men have treated us like shit for years, so they can fucking deal with it!
I’d take a pervy man over an angry, blinded feminist anyday. At least I could appease the man.
We don’t get to see a man voicing a concern, view or opinion and attack him with the aggression of a uterus on day one of shredding it’s lining. He may be wrong in his opinion, or even uneducated. I know it’s shocking, but sometimes, he may even have a valid opinion. But what fucking good does name calling and dragging him through a room of angry, knife wielding feminists achieve? As soon as you start spouting ‘sexist’ and pertaining to know this person (I’ve seen attacks on character and family) then you have failed the feminist agenda that you so aggressively fight for.
People are blinded and wrongly assume that everyone is sexist, that everyone sees how life is for other people. We do it everyday. We judge. You would be surprised at just how little men know about the world of women. And why would they, they haven’t been subject to our environment from a female’s point of view. And they never will if we keep creating man tarring hashtags and blog posts.
There are a lot of men, who have done wrong, who get away with rape, who treat women like dirt, who will not hire ‘fertile’ aged women, who tap us on the ass, who stare at us in public, who wink at us across tables, who think it is their given right to fucking touch us. I cannot stress enough how much I support and truly wish the feminist agenda will create an equal society. In the same breath we need to be mindful of the innocent men, the good guys that are being dragged down and beat, and who do genuinely fear the rise in feminism. They are at an unequal and disadvantaged level now. They dare not enter a room with a female alone, for fear of accusations – which will now be investigated, in the favour of the female. Employers cannot be seen to do nothing over such accusations anymore.
We are telling men to shut up if they don’t support us. Dismissing their opinions because they are ‘a man’. They have very valid fucking opinions. My partner would be well within his right to post a breast feeding tweet. Breast feeding isn’t just a woman’s world, it took two to tango and it takes two to support each other after that tango. Our choice to persevere with breastfeeding, could arguably, be one of the major factors in my post natal depression. A depression which, on many occasions, tried to tear my family apart, pushing my partner out. Scaring him, forcing him to watch his partner crumble in pain, look on as I sink low and isolate myself further. He watched his perfect relationship shake under the weight of mental illness, worried his world would collapse. A male has every fucking right to tell you his view on breastfeeding, or any other ‘women’s topics‘.
Yet, there seems to be an air of hesitation, second guessing if men should speak out. I’ll admit, I’ve had heated debates with my partner about feminism, debates in which we both get pissed off and I’m left furious he’s not agreeing with me. One agreement was on the topic of men being scared to approach women in bars. My view point was we aren’t meat for you to select so fuck off and let us be. His argument was I’m over the top and if he sees an attractive girl he should feel able to approach her. We argued on this for a while, over months I would say. Each time it got heated and I eventually got the hump and left the debate.
The reason it got so heated was he couldn’t see my point, he couldn’t understand me. This was not due to his inadequacy. More so, that I felt right in my view, supported by the feminists online ‘thou shall not approach women!!! You pervy dick’. The raging feminist agenda! When I explained, in my view, through my whole life I’ve been made to feel like a sex object and unwanted attention makes me very uncomfortable, he could then see why it might not be ‘okay’ to approach someone. Until that point, he never understood the problem.
And that’s the difference. More communicating, less one liner, snipping comments about men being sexual predators.
Too often women are commenting any old sexist shit, dismissing opinions that don’t fit their narrative, never stopping to think and question the reasons behind a post or comment. Women just presume men know our world, and therefore should know better than to say something as stupid as ‘I like slim girls’. – Jesus, could you imagine.
There is a war on man going on. Of course there is. Too many ‘bad’ men have been pigs for too long. As a society we are trying to rectify that, any good person will agree with you it’s wrong, things need to change. But you cannot expect a fair and equal society if we tarnish every man with the same brush – even when you think you aren’t.
Personally, I would love to drop the whole men and women titles and just have ‘people’ in it’s place. Some people are bad, some are good. Let’s support each other to eradicated the behaviours of the arseholes and be mindful to those that may be ignorant to some of the reasons behind the feminist view. Let’s educate rather than shout them down from our high, so very high, feminist tower made from the blood of bad men and the boabies of the ill-informed.
We strive for equality, we won’t get that if we let the crazy, aggressive feminists speak for us. Those crazy bitches make the rest of us look bad.