I wrote a song for Jess, in no way shape or form is it inspired or a rip off of John Legend’s ‘All of me’ ….okay, it is. Just think yourself lucky I didn’t record me singing it! I recon I’m a good 1000 blogs away from becoming YouTube confident. Can you imagine the amount of bleeps I would need to add to cover my language?! Jesus, no. I’d need an 18 rating!
It’s best you have the tune of ‘All of me’ in your head before you read my ‘song’ – which I’m going to title….mmm, thinking….yup, ‘All of Jess’. Oft, telling you, if I don’t start winning award’s for my strokes of genius soon, well, there’s going to be a global outcry!
What would I do without your cheeky mouth?
Shouting for me and then ignoring my call
You’ve got my head bursting, I’m no kidding, you’re driving me nuts
What’s going on with the stickers on the oven?
I’m at the end of my fucking tether
And I’m so tired, feel like a bus hit me, please let me sleep.
My hair is so filthy But a bun will sort it just fine You’re crazy and I’m out of my depth
Cause me and your dad Thought ‘we want kids’ We pictured snuggles and rainbows All that family Pinterest perfections Instead you give your snot to me And then there’s all that poo So naive in the beginning Even now I wonder what I’m doing Cause you’ve broken all of me We’re not the people we used to be, oh oh
How many flipping times do I have to tell you Crayons go on paper and not in the loo Parenting is beating me down, I need dad to calm my nerves
You’re my heart, you’re my pain
My best decision, despite greys and blues
I can’t stop looking at your pictures, you’re cheeky little smile
You’ve ruined our mornings
Can you not sleep past 9
You’re awake and I’m out of coffee
You ripped all of me
To make space for all of you
I loved my perfect genitalia
Now I google labiaplasty
I gave my body for you
Now you won’t let me poo
You’re at the door shouting for mummay
Even when I hide you still find me
‘Cause you have fine tuned mum radar
Can you not go find daddy, oh oh
Give me that playdoh!
Food on the table and please use the fork!
Risking my sanity for this
‘Cause all of me And your dad too We love every minute of you All the late night snuggles and tears We give all to you The focus in all we do You’re the reason that I drink wine Even when you lose, you’re winning?! But we still love all of you And we’ll be mortifying for you
We give all for you But seriously, please let me poo, oh oh