The Power of Sharing – BayArt

 

Recently, I was contacted by BayArt and asked to contribute to their site, to write a post surrounding mental health and positivity. I’ll admit that I was very excited to write on another site, yet I was afraid. What should I write? Should I tame my swearing? My humour? My sarcasm?

Eventually, after a lot of thought, I decided I would go down the route of expressing how grateful I am to those that share their experiences and to those in the blogging world and the ‘real’ world that have supported me throughout my blogging adventure. Creating a blog and unloading all my crazy has been, and will continue to be, very therapeutic for me as is reading and connecting with other blogs. Pumped up on admiration and deep, well, I don’t know the correct word to use, deep love and compassion? I felt the need to place my humour barrier to the side and expose my beating heart (for you all to slaughter) and the love I have for every single person that has the strength and courage to share their deepest and darkest thoughts with the world, even if they do not quite understand them their self.

I will keep sharing and I hope you all keep sharing too

xx

Original post on BayArt – The Power of Sharing by HonestK

At first, I thought I didn’t have anything to contribute to the group, but upon reflection I think I do. We all do. Every experience and thought matters, maybe not to all people, maybe just to one person. One is enough, one is a job well done.

A very brief introduction to myself is that I created a blog (HonestK), a long time thought, after being faced with my world falling away in front of me, caused by me, directed by me. After the birth of my daughter in 2015 I fell into a swirling world of depression and anxiety, all of which was somewhat new to me. I quickly realised that my experience of this illness is only going to be demolished by one person, me. Therapy and medication can only do so much to aid the battle, ultimately I hold the power, one that must be understood in order for it to be accepted within myself.

Turning to the blogging community is one of the best things I could have done. Reading other people’s mental health struggles, reading their raw, emotive pain, having a sense that I am not alone, that I have so much in common with complete strangers was and continues to be a mental weight off my shoulders. These depressive feelings, wanting to escape, feeling inadequate, lonely, an outcast, alienated from friends and family, my mind running in over drive, feeling completely and utterly alone are not mine. These thoughts and feelings belong to my mental health, or as I like to call it my ‘crazy’. It’s not me, it cannot be me if so many other people, with different life stresses, from other walks of life feel exactly the same.

There is a saying that misery loves company. I believe that to be true. It is my misery that brought me to this place, my misery that is so desperately asking for help, one that I am willing to give if only I understood what that entailed. My misery seeks answers and guidance from your misery. My misery threatens to destroy my mind and family, yet has an unmatched power to provide me with empathy, growth, compassion and love. Misery truly loves company, but which company you keep determines the power it can wield over your life.

My choice, like so many others in the blogging community, is to provide my misery with honest company. No holds barred posts detailing a person’s struggle with any mental health battle, are not only refreshing and a source of support but also liberating. It helps to release the author from the grasp of their mental battle, freeing them of thoughts, loneliness and shame. Arguably, sharing real, honest thoughts and feelings is one of the hardest, most vulnerable things a person can do. What will others thinks? What if I am alone? What if no one understands?  What if I am attacked for my thoughts? What if?

What if we share and bring hope to an other person? What if we share and smash the stigma surrounding mental health? What if we share something that is thought as a ‘taboo’ yet it affects more individuals than we know? What if?

Pumped up on the braveness of other honest sharers, I threw the negative ‘what ifs?’ out the window, battened down the hatches and exposed my inner workings on my blog. I have nothing to lose. I do not have to hide myself any longer. I am not the happy, joke making, laid back person I cast out into the world. I am much more. I carry a darker side to myself that I loathe. I am a work in progress, like so many others. Working to knock down the loathe wall and open my heart to myself. Even as I type that I judge myself, is that a dramatic thing to write? Will people think of me as crazy? Do I really want to bare my soul?

Yes I do.

For myself just as much for others. One of the hardest posts I wrote was detailing how it has taken me a long time to fall in love with my daughter. As a new mother I was fed this notion that once the baby has popped out I would be overcome with love. A false notion society has put upon new parents. I felt no love for my child, only fear, anxiety, responsibility and hatred on many occasions. My partner witnesses me slowly dropping into post natal depression, to which I was oblivious. He is my rock and will continue to be so, for as long as I (and my crazy) allow him to be. Can you imagine the shame and utter ‘I’m such a horrible mother’ I felt on a daily basis with my new born baby? It was heart breaking. I am committed to never letting another parent feel that way, I almost feel urged to protect them from this naive, false image of parenthood we are fed.

Honest, raw and brutal sharing is all that we have to give in order to protect others. The immense feeling of support and understanding from other people is there, it’s everywhere. I am truly amazed when I share a ‘deep dark secret’ such as hating my baby, that others felt the same way too. They provide me with love and support, never once judging. That horrible, negative, heart wrenching self hate surrounding my lack of love for my daughter dissipated the moment I shared it on my blog and thus over social media. I am not alone. I was never alone. I had no reason to beat myself up over it. I am normal. I am a great parent.

The power in sharing can never be overestimated. It can connect with so many people in so many ways. I urge anyone to share, not only for yourself but for other people. On the flip side of your media there is a person reading, and you might just make the world of difference. You might provide clarity, support, understanding, warmth, acceptance and a belonging.

For anyone suffering for a mental health ‘problem’  awareness and self acceptance is crucial. Yet, how can we understand our emotions and feelings if we can’t compare them to others? How does a person know it’s okay to feel this way?

By sharing.

By letting it known it’s normal to not be okay.

By understanding yourself on your own terms, not others.

By building a community to express ourselves and provide support for others.

By believing in yourself and having the guts to share our ‘darkside‘.

By being you.

via The Power of Sharing — BayArt

8 thoughts on “The Power of Sharing – BayArt

    1. Thank you! I meant to write the same thing to you last night about writing for—oh my god, for the life of me I can’t remember! FFS! I started looking about the site and thought it was brilliant and how your brutally honest writing will be great for the site – and for you!
      I just went on to your blog to find the site and I see that you have changed the layout? It’s looking awesome! Blums everywhere!
      Thank you for your affa kind words 🙂 I’m touched as I think your writing is immense, so if you like my stuffs then that makes me very happy indeed 🙂
      I also want to say that you have been writing with a different tone, a happy, positive, content tone? – Not implying that you have been writing like a moody B before, but I’m getting the sense that you are in a good place right now? I’m chuffed for you, it really does put a smile on my face to think that.
      Keep up the good blum work 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. ❤ I'm glad you like the layout. I wanted to make sure Goldblums were proudly displayed. lmfao

        I would say my writing was moody/is moody hahaha. but you are totally, totally right. I couldn't say for sure if it's depression has lifted and I'm back to "myself" … I think it's more I got so fed up with my own bullshit (again) that I started doing the things that get me right. Or maybe it's just my kids went back to school two days ago and I have a renewed ability to think coherently.

        Thank you for everything you said about my writing, you have no idea how much that means to me, and to your other comment, I definitely think you and I are cut from the same cloth. I'm really glad we bumped into each other on the press of words. Your posts and comments really keep me going, even when I just want to say fuck it 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. 😀 I’m on it chica… Not to get too wu wu, but I definitely am seeing that the people you connect with in life are absolutely there for a reason, and I am suspecting our energies impact one another… so if you’re feeling good, it helps others around/connected to you feel good. I’ve been noticing the people I’m interacting with are also picking up, and I think it creates a snowball effect. Either that, or I’ve done too many drugs 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No, no, I agree. When people are miserable I’m miserable!….my office is a great experiment to conclude that one! I think people connect for a reason too, I wanted to write that previously but didn’t want you to think I was wu wu 😀 I’ve not done thaaaat many, so it must be the wu wu 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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